|When my husband and I first learned about the Laws of Family Purity, or what I like to call, Ancient Wisdom for Healthy Relationships, we were unexcited and nervous for how we would manage. It was a few months before our wedding and we had never learned about this before. Our classes were very quick, impersonal and dry. Our teachers did not seem passionate about the practice and they most certainly did not seem excited to share it with us. They were checking boxes and we were freaking out. Unfortunately, I have heard that this is the experience of many newlyweds….
Despite our unfortunate experience in our Chatan and Kallah class, we were committed to bringing holiness into our intimacy. We knew that it would be a process and decided to take it one cycle at a time. We made sure to regularly talk about how we felt and if we we were struggling, we consulted with Rabbis and figured out how to make it work for us. We never felt stuck. We always felt like there was room to be ourselves and in the right time, room to grow. Most importantly, we recognized that each of us had our own struggles and that it was important to be seen. What a blessing it is to be in partnership where we can honor and respect our differences in how we connect to Hashem and how to connect to the Mitzvot.
As the months and years rolled by, our practice transformed from a chore into a blessing. We found new ways to connect, new meaning in the details and a newfound sense of togetherness. A huge moment for us was when we decided to take the Chatan and Kallah teacher training program with the Eden Center. We both were eager to learn more about these practices and had a small desire to share them with others. After all, even though it had been a huge challenge for us, and at times still is, we are beyond grateful for the growth it has brought into our relationship and for the way our intimacy feels like it is infused with Divine love. Taking that class helped empower us even more. The more we learned, the more we understood just how rich and meaningful this practice could be. Instead of it being disempowering, it felt empowering. Instead of it feeling prescriptive, it felt in harmony with the cycles of time. Instead of it feeling boring, it felt invigorating.
We decided that as soon as we had the credentials, we would share the love with others. So many people look at this mitzvah in trepidation and hesitation. We are so busy learning about the laws that we forget to learn about the reasons behind them and how to have some fun as well!
Thank G!d, we are thrilled to finally take this conversation out from under the sheet (pun intended) and get people excited and curious about the ways Jewish wisdom can transform our most intimate relationships. We aren’t afraid of talking about the challenges and struggling with the laws. It is not easy, nothing worthwhile is. As one of the three pillars of Judaism (along with Kashrut and Shabbat), it doesn’t get nearly as much space in the educational sphere. There is so much to learn and so much to be inspired by. My husband and I are eager to get people asking questions, digging deep and reflecting on this practice.
For now, we will be hosting monthly conversations that considers one topic at a time. These meetings will be on zoom, are free of cost and open to all people, regardless of marital status and jewish background. Our first one will be on Sunday June 6th. For the first half, we will be talking about the origins of practices around Jewish Intimacy and how they can impact a partnership. The second half is open Q and A. We are expecting the class to last about an hour. We are also open to being your Chatan and Kallah teachers. We teach both in person (in Israel) and online. If you have any questions or want to get more information about joining the monthly class or learning privately with us, you can reach me at firstname.lastname@example.org