Even while at war, and in a time of challenge and despair, we know it is so important to ground ourselves in our body, and to continue investing in our relationships.

It truly has the power to reduce stress and help us bring about Jewish redemption. Queen Esther knew how to use her intimate and sexual energy to turn the tide – in that spirit, we present this following idea.

One of the mitzvot of Purim is the משתה, the feast, which also features prominently in the megillah – Esther invites Achashveroush to not one, but two intimate feasts before revealing her true wish.

This year I want to invite you to create a different kind of intimate feast- a feast of senses!

Before we begin, I want to acknowledge any of you, or your partners, who have disabilities with any of your senses. Adapt this exercise in a way that works and is fun for you!

Becoming mindful of, and practicing sinking into, our senses is a powerful way to enhance our ability to experience pleasure in our body. In addition, recent research is proving what many alternative practices have been teaching for years – that practicing mindfulness during sexual encounters is one of the surest ways to awaken and increase desire, as well as deepen sexual discovery and growth.

Here’s a simple way to try it out:

👑 Solo:

Choose an array of items and objects to awaken and delight each of your senses – 👅taste (sour, sweet, bitter, spicy, salty), 👃🏽smell (essential oils, aromatic cream, tea bag, herbs/spices), 👂🏾sound (bubble wrap, piece of paper, metal fork, chime, phone app), ✋🏻 touch (feather, scarf, beaded necklace, ice cube, bubbles). 👀 Sight is optional – many times it’s easier to remain mindful by closing the eyes, as to be able to focus fully on the sensual experience. You may want to have some gentle background music playing, or not.

Sit or lie down comfortably, set a timer so you don’t have to worry about how long to go for, and randomly, or blindfolded, choose one item at a time. 

Fully sink into the sensual experience of it before moving on. Notice the way it feels, smells, tastes, sounds and looks. How does it make your body feel to anticipate it? To experience it? What did you like? Not like?

👉🏽 When you’re done, take out a paper and spend some minutes reflecting on the experience – how was it? What did you like? Didn’t like? Did you learn something new about yourself?

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 Alternative: Have a senses feast with a friend, and follow the partnered version. I’ve done this with a group of female friends, and it is delicious!

👩‍❤️‍👨 Partnered:

Follow the same preparation as in the solo version.

Now, set the timer for the amount of time you have to dedicate (I recommend starting with 10 minutes per partner). One partner closes/blindfolds their eyes and lies down (fully clothed, or not). The other partner then leads them through an array of sensual surprises. Try to minimize, or ‘forbid’ verbal communication, instead the leading partner being very attentive to the receiving partner’s body language and non-verbal reactions.

When the timer goes off, switch roles.

When both partners have had a turn, talk about what you liked, what you didn’t like, what you’d want to do differently or try again!

For more Purim focused adult sexuality education, check out this resource.


Yonina Rubinstein, B.ed, is a certified sexuality educator and group facilitator. She is the author of the internationally acclaimed book ‘Sexuality After Childbirth’ and ‘When Kids Don’t Speak’, and runs the highly popular course ‘Growing Together: Raising Sexually Healthy Children’, as well as founder of the FB community ‘Jewish Parents Raising Sexually Healthy Kids and Teens’. With her unique approach blending professional knowledge, a holistic outlook and practical skills, she is redefining sexuality education in the Jewish world.