Tevillah. Some women will have their first encounter with this mitzvah as they’re getting married – when the couple, the future bride and groom – decide what they want for their wedding. Pre-wedding immersion (and immersion as part of a married couple), is a mitzvah, which is part of Taharat HaMishpacha (family purity laws). In the State of Israel, pre-wedding immersion is also a requirement for getting married through the Rabbanut. If you’ve chosen a traditional Jewish wedding, in accordance with halakha and the Rabbanut, the immersion will be an integral part of it, and you will have to immerse the day before your wedding. For some women the idea of this might be uncomfortable, reading and knowing, truly and deeply, that we will have to be in such an intimate situation, vulnerable, and religious, out of necessity. You have an opportunity to listen to the voices inside, and also, a moment before your wedding, to learn and understand the idea of immersion, so you don’t have to compromise on immersing out of duty.

Before you keep reading about tevillah and possible connections with the water, I suggest you take a moment to think for yourself: what is the meaning of immersion? Why am I immersing? What emotions do I have at this moment? What would I like to know about immersion? What points of connection in my life do I have with water? What are the good things that can come from this moment?

And now, let’s dive in.

Immersion is an ancient jewish way of purifying. In the past, certain things would make people Tameh (impure), and therefore there were several reasons for immersing. Today, the only Tumah that is still relevant in the jewish outlook, is the tumah of niddah. After your menstruation cycle, which is part of the process of the woman’s cycle that has culminated without new life that could have been created (pregnancy), and after waiting seven days to ensure her bleeding is over, a married woman needs to immerse. Similarly, before her wedding, a woman needs to immerse for the first time, to purify herself. The tevillah itself is an immersion into rain water, where the entirety of the body is touching the water, and you aren’t touching anything besides for the water enveloping you. The tevillah has two requirements: your entire body has to be under water at once, and nothing is separating you from the water.

In Judaism, the woman’s cycle is hand-in-hand with her relationship, and the halakha’s that accompany a husband and wife throughout their joint life, and therefore called Taharat HaMishpacha (family purity laws). It’s a big topic which can always be expanded on, and you’re welcome to contact the Eden Center for further discussion, at any point in life.

Now we’ll delve into the parts that could help you feel the connection you desire, in this special meeting with ourselves in the water. In some of the parts I’ll raise, I’ll leave open questions, which you are welcome to answer for yourself, at your own time and pace.

The Essence of the Water

Water. An almost miraculous chemical compound, a base of all known life forms, and humans, and a necessity to our existence. Water is used for our survival, to quench our thirst, our growth and expansion and of the fauna and flora surrounding us, and for cleaning, on all stratas. In the story of creation, in the beginning of Genesis (Bereishit), the creation of water and its placement in the world takes the better part of two days. On the first day the water is separated to sky and sea, and on the second day the water, which first covered the entire land, is separated to seas. Even the water, with all the good it contains, needs to be limited, taken in doses, in the right times and places. The Mikveh is always connected to the ground, and the water we immerse in is from rain or natural spring, also known as “Waters of Creation” (Mei Bereishit). What is the meaning of the connection to the ground? And what can the connection to primary water give you? The essence of water is an essence of natural and constant movement. Movement necessary for life, that comes to keep balance in our life. And similar to pools, where standing water is a bad sign, so to our soul, there’s a need to movement, to cleanse and bring anew. However, in a constant flow we need a strong and solid foundation, connected to the ground, the earth. What is a solid ground in your life? On what or who do you lean during times of renewal, movement and change in your life? Recognise the secure mikveh in your heart, your home – in the relationship you’re building and founding.

Cycle of Renewal

As a woman, there are many different layers of cycles in your life. There’s the cycle of the year, the sun, accompanied by the seasons, holidays, special days and moments, in a long cycle of 365 days. And there’s the cycle of the moon, the monthly cycle, circling us with shorter movements, accompanied by sensations, feelings, body motions, and life and relationship motions. In the pace of life, the immersion in the mikveh, before your wedding and after your last cycle, is a chance to stop, breathe, and give yourself space. Make room for your body and what it’s going through, for the wonderful soul inside it, and for deep renewal, just you with yourself, with the water, the skies. In the poem (piyut) “Gates of Desire” (Et Shaarei Ratzon) by Rabbi Yehudah Ibn Abbas it says: “let there not be a world without a moon”. And I’ll add, let there not be a world without a moment to stop, look and pay attention to the moon, to the feminine cycle in our life.

Giving Spiritual Meaning to a Physical Act

The new movement which I wrote about, of adding depth, reason, knowledge and meaning to every thing we choose and desire in our lives, is actually an ancient movement, and what we’re doing in our generation, is reliving the days of glory. Making a connection between a physical act and a spiritual meaning happens in many places in Judaism, and not just, but also in Buddhism, in yoga, and other places where there’s a desire to connect between the spiritual light, and the vessel of life itself. Without the right vessel, the light will extinguish, and without light, the vessel will not fulfill its purpose. And in regard to immersion, my questions are: what are the differences between the woman you were before immersion, and the woman you are after? What is the meaning you choose to give the moment of immersion? To the preparations beforehand? To the moments after? And what about the relationship that brought you to this moment? What are the changes in your relationship before and after the chuppah? What is the meaning you choose to give this moment in your joint life?

A Time for Love

There’s a pretty big dissonance between the technical preparations for immersion, and the depth, the freedom and the connection that we would like to achieve in the moment of immersion and through it. We can view the preparations, with all their many details, as getting ready for a big, important celebration. The celebration is your party with yourself, a chance to celebrate yourself, reaching the finish line. It’s worth it to focus on all the details while getting ready for such a party, isn’t it? After all the exact preparations that are right for you (because only you know what suits you and how to truly celebrate yourself), it’s now time to party. The time for love. The moments in the water are a gate – an opportunity and chance to truly enjoy being with yourself. Celebrate your beauty, enjoy and love your body (it deserves it!), enjoy the quality time, in a new and exciting situation. Love creates love, and prosperity brings prosperity. And so, brought by the exact preparations and the immersion itself, the love will come forth inside you like a spring, quenching you and your man and your relationship, and the celebration will go on.

 

In conclusion, I want to bless you for your upcoming tevillah, through the two requirements we mentioned earlier: that your body be fully immersed all at once and nothing separating you from the water.

I wish for you, dear bride, that similar to your body enveloped by wonderful ancient water, like a fetus in the womb, devoted and subject to supreme grace, so will your heart and soul feel secure, and you’ll be fully devoted and present. I’ll also bless you, that nothing will separate your thoughts from the moment of immersion. That you won’t have exterior distractions, and your mind will be present, clear as water, in your moment with yourself.

One last blessing. May we be precise, inquisitive, search deep and dive, and always return to ourselves with compassion, on what we have, and what we’re lacking. Amen.