After 16 years of marriage + 4 children, here are 16 insights about relationships we’ve learned along the way:

1. Marriage is the most important thing in life. Anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong.
2. The quality of your marriage determines the quality of your life.
3. Humor is the best and most affordable couples therapy.
4. Love has many languages. No couple speaks exactly the same language.
5. You can’t prevent relationship crises, but you can grow from them.
6. Our differences aren’t the enemy – they’re the catalyst for growth we couldn’t achieve otherwise.
7. During difficult times (like this year’s war and reserves), the quality of your relationship before the crisis determines how well you’ll weather it – so work on your marriage now because you never know what’s coming.
8. Crises aren’t a sign that something isn’t working; they’re a sign that something wants to change.
9. Couple communication is very different from what we thought when we got married. It’s not just learning to talk differently about everything; it’s learning to feel everything differently.
10. Hate isn’t the opposite of love. Indifference is.
11. The ability to embrace human complexity is key to successful marriage. It’s perfectly normal to be angry at and desire, admire and detest the same person simultaneously.
12. True listening isn’t waiting patiently for your turn to speak; it’s being genuinely curious about your partner’s world.
13. Eroticism isn’t about actions; it’s about mindset.
14. Planning our romantic times now is far more romantic than the spontaneous dates we had while dating.
15. The secret to raising happy children is maintaining a happy marriage.
16. When done right, the passion in a mature relationship leaves new relationship passion in the dust.

What relationship insights have you learned along your journey? Share with us in the comments below.

Limor Kleinman is a graduate of The Eden Center’s Mikveh Attendant Training Course and has a certification as a sex counselor from Bar Ilan University. Along with her husband David, she established the website “Ve-Ahavtem,” a resource that provides couples with a welcoming, dignified, and respectful space to nurture their intimate lives and sustain their passion throughout the years. You can learn more about “Ve-Ahavtem” on their website (https://www.ve-ahavtem.love) or Instagram (@ve_ahavtem).