Witnessing a New Beginning: The Power of Conversion
The first time I witnessed a conversion, it felt like witnessing a birth. Even after years of watching countless conversions, I still struggle to find the words to convey the enormity and excitement of the moment. Eventually, I realized I was simply echoing what the Talmud expressed over 1,500 years ago:
(Yevamot 22)"A convert who converts is like a newborn child." "גר שנתגייר כקטן שנולד דמי"
In just a split second, a person sheds their old identity and assumes an entirely new one. The gioret (female convert) even takes on a new name of her choosing, further separating her from her past life. It's an indescribable experience.
Ruth’s Journey: A Parallel to the Modern Convert
In Megillat Ruth, Boaz says to Ruth:
“You left your father and mother and the land of your birth and came to a people you had not known before.”
Ruth literally left behind her family and birthplace. Today, for most converts, the change may not be as dramatic, but when a gioret passes through the mikveh, she severs ties with the past and publicly affirms her acceptance of Hashem and her commitment to new practices. As Ruth says to Naomi:
"For wherever you go, I will go; wherever you lodge, I will lodge; your people shall be my people, and your God my God. Where you die, I will die, and there I will be buried."
Shavuot: The Festival of Torah and Conversion
On Shavuot, we celebrate the giving of the Torah, the moment when Bnei Yisrael underwent a form of geirut (conversion) and entered into the covenant. The Gemara explains that everyone had to go through this process. Unsurprisingly, as Shavuot approaches, discussions about geirut abound. For instance, a search on YUTorah.org for "geirut" brings up over 1,500 results, and "conversion" yields another 1,378. While the topics are varied—covering halakhic, hashkafic, and text-based aspects—a practical guide to what happens on the day of a conversion seems to be missing.
What Happens on the Day of Conversion?
As a mikveh attendant for many years, I've had the honor of accompanying many women at the moment of their conversion. They’ve spent time learning about Shabbat, kashrut, brachot, and more, preparing for the day they officially join the Jewish people. But do they know what to expect on that significant day?
What does the mikveh look like?
Who will be present at the conversion?
What emotions might arise?
How does the balanit (mikveh attendant) fit in?
Mikveh Immersions: Night vs. Day
Though the preparation for taharat hamishpacha and geirut at the mikveh is similar, key differences make the experience distinct:
Timing: Conversions are done during the day, while taharat hamishpacha immersions happen at night.
Preparation: A woman immersing for taharat hamishpacha has counted her seven clean days. A gioret, however, has spent months or even years preparing for this moment.
Company: At night, a woman may come alone, accompanied only by the balanit. In contrast, a gioret may bring along her teacher, mentor, friends, or even family members. The Beit Din of three rabbis is also nearby to affirm her new status.
For many brides or women returning to the mikveh, the experience is somewhat familiar. But for a gioret, who may not have any visual context, the experience can feel overwhelming.
Good Practices for the Mikveh Attendant
Based on my experiences, these practices help make the day more pleasant for the gioret:
Establish a Connection in Advance: If possible, connect with the gioret before the big day. Offer your contact information, so she can reach out with any questions.
Be There for Support: Let her know that you can act as an intermediary, especially if she has a last-minute question she’s too embarrassed to ask the rabbis.
Arrive Early: Many girot arrive ahead of schedule, so being there to greet her adds a personal touch.
Offer a Walk-Through: Show her the preparation room and the mikveh. Explain where the rabbis will be and assure her that she will be fully covered with a loose robe.
Address Concerns: Ask if she has any fears—perhaps she’s afraid of water or unsure about reading Hebrew. Reassure her that the bracha is written on the wall and that stumbling over the words is normal in such an intense moment.
Keep Tissues Handy: Trust me, they’ll be needed!
Creating a Positive Experience
As a balanit, I always remember that I’m part of creating a woman’s first memories after her conversion. In Ruth, when Boaz first speaks to her, she responds:
“You are most kind, my lord, to comfort me and to speak to your maidservant’s heart.”
The day of conversion is unique because of the gioret’s courage and commitment. As Rabbi Hanina says in Taanit:
"I have learned much from my teachers, more from my colleagues, but from my students most of all."
For me, converts are in that final category. When the cry of “kosher” is heard and the gioret resurfaces, a new being enters the world. It’s a moment full of hope, acceptance, and inspiration.
Ruth, the paradigm of a convert, is known for her chessed (kindness). In those first moments of her new life, the gioret radiates hope and potential. As balaniot, I hope we can reflect that chessed back to her in return.
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