These days, niddah and mikveh are not actually monthly for many people. In between pregnancy and breastfeeding, many women use birth control to regulate and delay their menstrual cycles. But struggling with infertility meant I was niddah A LOT. Not pregnant, not on birth control, not breastfeeding. For three years, niddah and mikveh were actually, truly, a monthly experience. At first, it was adding insult to injury – a bit of blood on toilet paper was the first harsh answer to the question “is this our month?” And then there were no hugs, no comforting squeeze of the hand, and no, um, “intimacy” to remind me that maybe there was at least a silver lining to not being pregnant.
Then we realized it was never going to be our month without some professional help. I thought that now that we knew that, it would be smooth sailing. But I quickly learned that first came the paperwork. For each pre-treatment test there were repeated calls to multiple numbers that never answered on the first try, attempting to track down the one person who could schedule the appointment. Then there would be three weeks to the next available slot, then waiting for results before you could schedule the follow-up test and start the whole process over. Every onat prisha, every day of the sheva nekiim was a painful reminder that yet another cycle was about to slip past. [Read more…]